Thank you...a million times, thank you, CBS, and, by extension, Setanta, for your wonderfully selective coverage of the Pebble Beach National Pro-Am, especially on that final sun-splitting day over the beautiful Monterey Peninsula.
Carmel Bay is such a spectacular location that main American anchor, Jim Nantz, felt compelled to repeat Sports Illustrated, and others, in quoting that incomparable Edinburgh scribbler, Robert Louis Stevenson, who described the area as 'the most felicitous meeting of land and sea in creation'.
Quick as a flash, his studio-mate Nick Faldo riposted "Oh, I thought he said it was one hell of a place!"
But back to that fine editorial judgment shown by the CBS crew. At least on the final day we were spared - unlike previous years - the golfing antics of half-baked film stars, plus sundry denizens of baseball, basketball and NFL who have limited impact on British eyes. An afterthought, though...maybe the so-called stars simply fell by the wayside before the final round. All I can hope is that the same happens next year.
As for the actual contest, VJ Singh, career winner of $54million, managed the impossible - he made a tournament lacking Tiger and Mickelson (the latter bidding his farewell for the weekend) riveting viewing. We became rubbernecks at a train wreck as the Fijian, cruising with four holes to play, lost the plot with three destructive bogeys on the trot. Impassive on the outside, VJ was surely fighting an internal maelstrom.
He did at least conjure up a birdie at the 72nd - after watching his tee shot bounce favourably off the only tree in the vicinity - which gave him an undeserved play-off with Steve Lowery.
Justice was done; up 18 again, Singh faffed his way from bunker to bunker, somehow extricating a par five, but to no avail. Lowery holed for a birdie, a bounteous $1.08million, and, more precious to him, a two-year exemption and a coveted place at Augusta in April.
That major traditionally is covered by the CBS network (minus the comedic Gary McCord, of course, banned years ago by the organisers after his bikini wax jibe about the outrageous speed of the greens, and a wry reference to body bags, presumably required to cart off demented players).
But at least Nantz can be relied upon to keep the Georgia organisers sweet. He rarely puts a foot wrong. He was even at it as he announced at Pebble Beach that George Bush Senior, that well-known golfer, had received the Bobby Jones award, the highest the USGA can bestow. Have the sick bag handy as we hear Jim, verbatim, at his unctuous best:
"For distinguished sportsmanship in golf, the person who emulates Jones' spirit and personal qualities, his attitude towards the game (bring the bag a wee bit closer).. So all of your friends, Mr President, from CBS Sport congratulate you, most deserving of the Bob Jones award."
Oh, aye? Mind you, it probably helps that his daddy was president of the USGA, and grand-daddy, also USGA president, was George Walker, after whom the famed amateur contest was named.
Nantz did have his work cut out, though, trying to extract any kind of worthwhile response from Clint Eastwood, decked out in a natty CBS blazer, as were Nantz and Faldo. Now pushing 78, Clint was almost reduced to one-word answers as Jim extolled the virtues of the movie star's apparently great charity work for the needy of Carmel Bay. Needy? Carmel Bay? Shurely shome mishtake...
Faldo continues to impress at the mike. Ever since an American network phoned his hotel room, live on air, almost exactly 11 years ago during the LA Open (which he went on to win), his reputation as an analyst has been unsurpassed. Nick hadn't long finished his round at the Riviera, and gave some insightful observations. Nobody cared about phone-line quality; what mattered more was the quality of his contribution.
The Setanta studio pair, Dominik Holyer and Ronan Rafferty, do a good job of filling the vacuum caused by US commercials. My wife, by the by, a great Jane Austen telly fan, thinks Dom would be a wonderful Mr Darcy. If that means having an impassive, undemonstrative face and swarthy good looks, then he's definitely a ringer.
One final Dom comment...Setanta went to the trouble to prepare a great wee brochure about all their sporting output. On golf, they say... "a panel of world renowned experts including Dominic Collier..." To spell one name wrongly is bad enough; to mess up both is unforgivable. And maybe even Dom would concede that 'world renowned' is drawing the longbow somewhat. But, hey, who can argue with an ad man's flight of fancy?
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